Wanna Have Sex With Your Playstation 5? A New Porn Device Is Here.

The world of porn games offers us no shortage in the bizarre. Porn games themselves contain a myriad of oddities, like toon and hentai sex fantasy characters. But for so long, there’s been something missing in porn games (or mainstream games in general). You can’t directly insert yourself into them. And when I say “insert yourself,” what I mean is…

Look, if you’re freaky enough to play a porn game, you probably desire even more kink in your life. That’s fair. And it is fine, no judgment zone here. Virtual reality porn (see Dezyred for an example) is here to pacify some of those desires and metaverse porn certainly will do the same once it arrives. The freak is about to get freakier, is my point.

But it remains, with virtual reality, metaverse included, you are increasing visual and perceptual stimulations, but not increasing actual sensations.

Did any of that make sense?

Moreover, PlayStation and Xbox games don’t have any of the former mentions. So if you are playing your PS5 and get the urge, you can’t. That’s probably best, but best is breaking down.

A new device created by Dreamcam appears to resolve this issue.

The new Playstation attachment is called P(eni)S5. Yes, this name is worse than when Prince declared himself a symbol. All the same, the device seems pretty usable. You plug it into the USB port of your PS5 and well, you can insert your goods into the device, which is by default inserted into the PS5. So yeah, you’re finally going to score sex from your PS5, which likely won’t surprise your increasingly frustrated girlfriend.

“Having trouble choosing between your girlfriend or that brand-new PS5 she got you for Christmas? While there’s nothing like getting down-and-dirty with that special someone, we all know that hopping on Warzone or Fortnite with the boys all night is an experience unto itself,” Dreamcam Vice President Daniel Golden told XBIZ. “Now, Dreamcam is allowing you to do both at the same time, all while satisfying your need to hit the sticks.”

The P(eni)S5 is a serious product, not a play for publicity. And yes, this ultimately translates into people getting off inside a PS5 extension while hammering ammo during Call of Duty. I’d be remiss to not mention how bad this all sounds for a generation already consumed by gaming. But alas, that’s not my place to judge.

The main issue, of course, is that many bros spend way more time on their gaming consoles than with their girls. The P(eni)S5 gives them more reasons to remain hidden way in the basement while their girl swipes around on Tinder looking for her sweet release. To be fair, if you’ve not given her any attention for weeks while snuggling up to Resident Evil 2, then you should expect nothing less. Oh, and yeah, Resident Evil 2 nude mods do exist. Not that it justifies any of this.

My guess is any bro using the P(eni)S5 will suffer a lot of losses against their other gamer bros. It might become obvious which gamers are hooking up with their Playstations and which are just gaming. I have a difficult time understanding how anyone could competently play a PS5 game with a device snugging their man parts.

All the same, this certainly is a new frontier for “mainstream” gaming – An escalation, if you will. Where it goes from here is anyone’s guess, but my guess is porn games. It goes to porn games. That’s where.